DeaExLibris

My apologies for the rant; I am not in a good mood today and I have a short fuse. Moreso than...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:31:40 -0400

My apologies for the rant; I am not in a good mood today and I have a short fuse.

Moreso than before, now that the budget cuts were so close to including my job and I don’t know if further cuts will need to be made, I’m keeping my lips completely sealed and the mask of the Diligent Worker affixed to my face.

But jfc she infuriates me.

“Oh my gawwwd, how can you stand that thing? It makes so much noise - it would totally drive...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:07:17 -0400

“Oh my gawwwd, how can you stand that thing? It makes so much noise - it would totally drive me nuts after an hour.”

Shut. Up.

Shut your fucking mouth.

I am in no mood for your complaining or that nasally whine that peppers your every sentence. You are not some wisened mentor to me, nor do you have ANY relevant life advice; you are an irritant. You literally think “Don’t buy a house because ~responsibility~”, “Don’t have kids because you’ll never eat/sleep/be happy/be sane/have money ever again”, and “Don’t get married because you’ll get fat and fight all the time” are legitimate pieces of advice I should take to heart.

You know NOTHING of my life, my plans, or my relationship with Fiance.

Also, you don’t get to say jack or shit about my job, unless it’s “she does such wonderful work.” Because I fucking DO.

Four years, four status reports, four “continually exceeds expectations” across the board. Bitch.

You know how I got that? By doing my fucking job.

I’m not here to socialize. I’m here to WORK. I am getting paid to do a job, and despite whatever complaints I make (in person or in text to friends, never to coworkers) I do that job to the best of my ability.

You take one look at those stat reports and tell me what “the best of my ability” implies.

You don’t do your job. If we got paid by what we got done, our salaries would be flipped. Your sole focus is on getting out of stuff and putting things off until people forget about them, while having absolutely as many health and child-related catastrophes as possible.

So while you are flitting around and making a schedule of meetings you won’t keep with staff members about your nebulous projects, all the while checking the clock to adhere to your breastmilk pumping timetable, I am sitting at my desk, doing my job.

My job, for the next indefinite amount of time, is to scan piles and boxes and cabinets full of dissertations into the computer so that they can be archived.

The same archive, by the way, that will absolutely fall to pieces after I leave, because I’m the only one who works on it on a regular basis. You would, though, if you did your job. And like fuckall I’m going to be helpful whenever it is I leave.

So to answer your question: I am scanning these papers because That. Is. My. Job. If I did not, it would never get done, and the students would have even more to complain about.

The mild droning isn’t even loud enough to cover the chattering gossip down by your office, and, not that it even really matters, after about the fifth paper, I completely tuned it out.

I dreamed last night, oddly, of Hannibal, despite the fact that I don’t watch the show. Two...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 11:31:56 -0400

I dreamed last night, oddly, of Hannibal, despite the fact that I don’t watch the show.

Two people, who I assumed to be the Grahams, were sitting in a restaurant-type setting. I sat at their table as well, though they barely regarded me.

Hannibal was serving and the food looked divine, but I assumed the meat was human.

I tried to warn them and prevent them from eating, but I could not speak. My gestures were distorted and strange, like I didn’t know how to pilot my body.

Hannibal kept giving me cautionary looks, and after the meal, he pulled me aside to say “I know you wanted to help, but you were wrong.” and showed me a package from the butcher that still had a couple of pieces of the meat in it.

The dream ended abruptly.

shitsnothilarious: So, whoever made this has taught me more in...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:57:51 -0400

shitsnothilarious:

So, whoever made this has taught me more in this one pic set than 12 years of grade school, 4 years of college and my ongoing years in law school.

That tee shirt one, omg. I have to try that.

Lost Down the Rabbit Hole: Summed up as: CAN U NOT.

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:14:59 -0400

Lost Down the Rabbit Hole: Summed up as: CAN U NOT.:

duskenpath:

satsekhem:

satsekhem:

So, for the last few weeks, I have noticed hawks all over the damn place. I mentioned hearing hawk cries for a good hour, off and on, with no one else in my home having heard them. Since then, I’ve been paying closer attention to the soaring birds flying by on my drive to work and…

It’s frustrating because I’ve said for whomever to stop in and chat. And I get more and more hawks. -.-

Well, that sounds…

The previous post is brought to you by my most recent Google search: “the ball in harry potter...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:43:16 -0400

The previous post is brought to you by my most recent Google search:

“the ball in harry potter what hits you”

homesteadilee: coelasquid: zombee: ahahaHAHAHAAHA whuuuuuuuuuu...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:34:47 -0400

homesteadilee:

coelasquid:

zombee:

ahahaHAHAHAAHA

whuuuuuuuuuuuut

Have a problem, find a solution

#mechalannister

OK SO THIS ONE TIME IN D&D

I was playing my Halfling bar-brawler/dethroned pirate queen, who, being a Halfling, was about 1/3 as effective as she thought she was.

She couldn’t run very fast because her legs were so short, her attacks were not particularly damaging (though they often took out knees or groins, which floored opponents pretty quickly), and she really was only good at finding traps…usually with her face.

Also, along the way, she earned a cursed belt that she can’t take off, that basically turns her into Metal Mario when she’s airborne.

So this one time, we were sneaking through a cave, and stealth-taking out the Kobolds that had made camp therein. A new addition to our troupe was a bugbear (which are neither bug nor bear, but rather like a race of not-blue Beasts). He had taken all of the exotic and improvised weapon feats, on the gimmick that he was literally so stupid, he would forget to pick up his gear after a night’s rest, so he uses whatever’s available.

Well, a scout was escaping and about to warn the nest of Kobolds, and I was available.

So he picked all 30 pounds of me up and threw me with his obscene strength.

As soon as I left his hand, I transformed via my cursed belt into a 300 pound adamantium Bludger.

That day, we all learned two important lessons: Kobolds’ spines are not able to withstand that kind of impact, and Halflings are an Exotic Weapon.

“When you were brought to me, they said you were a Deathspeaker.” When he said nothing,...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:18:34 -0400

“When you were brought to me, they said you were a Deathspeaker.” When he said nothing, she continued. “We hear little of them this far north, but enough that I knew you to be a dangerous man deserving of severe punishment.”

He nodded curtly. Her tone was deceptively neutral.

“You’ve come a long way since then.”

“By your grace, my King.” It had almost become normal for him to call a woman King, but part of his mind lingered on it, reminding him always of where he was from.

“Come,” she said, “I’ve a gift for you.”

Eon followed her inside to her bedchamber. Sitting in the middle of the floor was a skillfully carved chair, made from the same knotty, burled wood seen throughout the region. The geometric patterns were evenly shaped and spaced, and it had been smoothed with sand before being oiled to a perfect sheen. A master woodcarver would have toiled meticulously for months on it. Upon the seat lay a cushion in muted green linen; golden thread and smooth glass beads made swirling shapes on its surface and hung in delicate short fringe from its edges.

For all of the chair’s exquisite details, none of them caught his eye. His gaze was instantly captured and held by what lay across the arms. He felt whole, and a hole he’d long forgotten about in his chest suddenly filled again, like a weight or restrictive garment removed. With a sincere tenderness, his eyes passed over each knot in the blanched ironwood, the carvings and set gems, and the length of the obsidian blade. The bloodbind held as strong as ever, and the weapon begged to be held. His scythe.

Oleri studied his face with bemusement. “For the first time in three years, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you at a loss for words.”

Oh my dear sweet gods, that’s the worst visual pun I’ve ever come up with; I wonder if...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:25:08 -0400

Oh my dear sweet gods, that’s the worst visual pun I’ve ever come up with; I wonder if people will get it.

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls.

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:34:03 -0400

I will not feed the trolls.

guys who mistake answering work-related questions for flirting with them (｡≖‿≖｡✿)

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:52:00 -0400

guys who mistake answering work-related questions for flirting with them

(｡≖‿≖｡✿)

I’m going to a pride parade at the end of the month. I’ve never been to one before, and...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:30:37 -0400

I’m going to a pride parade at the end of the month.

I’ve never been to one before, and it will be really liberating to be able to express myself to a thousand people all at once in the middle of the day.

I’m also really excited because Fiance is going to walk too, and keeps hinting at wearing something sexier (or at least, different) than his usual jeans-and-tee-shirt.

Naturally, I’ve no idea what to wear.

‘OTL

"This is what I don’t get - Women are impure because males have touched them. Who’s the dirty one..."

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:24:53 -0400

“This is what I don’t get - Women are impure because males have touched them. Who’s the dirty one here?”

- Comment on Jezebel article “Female ‘Purity’ Is Bullshit” (via jececilia)

BOOM BABY
(via methodistcoloringbook)

methodistcoloringbook: rubyvroom: I just learned that Vin Diesel taught Judi Dench how to play...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:21:12 -0400

methodistcoloringbook:

rubyvroom:

I just learned that Vin Diesel taught Judi Dench how to play Dungeons and Dragons and now she DMs for her grandchildren and I feel better about the world in general.

ATTN: MICAH

can one of your characters when you DM have judi dench’s voice??? PLEASE???

I don’t know if this is true, but I heard learning to play D&D was what she wanted from him specifically in exchange for agreeing to do Riddick, and that they and some of the crew played on set.

This was after he came every night to the play she was currently performing with a bouquet of flowers and “wooed her gentlemanly” into doing Riddick.

You… just… keep on thinking that my scanner is going to run out of ink. I’m not...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:14:36 -0400

You… just… keep on thinking that my scanner is going to run out of ink. I’m not even going to correct you anymore. It’s just not worth it.

Wish I could get away with doing embroidery at my desk, because I have the slowest, most petulent...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 13:04:17 -0400

Wish I could get away with doing embroidery at my desk, because I have the slowest, most petulent scanner in existence and piles and piles of papers to scan in and archive.

I mean, I like that lately I’ve been a somewhat morning person, waking up with my alarm and...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:33:37 -0400

I mean, I like that lately I’ve been a somewhat morning person, waking up with my alarm and not falling back to sleep or being particularly groggy, but it doesn’t make me want to get up and dressed any more than usual. :/

karynchaotic: last night when i was like 90% asleep i turned on...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:04:07 -0400

karynchaotic:

last night when i was like 90% asleep i turned on my tablet and wrote myself this note.

it reads:

Prof. Brian Cox—dog-turned into a man & trying to hide it. accidentally lets it slip A lot.

this wasn’t to be funny. i literally believed it to be true for like half an hour.

omg

Fiance has a science-bros crush on Dr. Cox, I have to show him this.

165 papers later…

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:26:17 -0400

165 papers later…

Where has the morning gone? Oi… Despite the amount of salad I’m eating lately, I really...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:03:59 -0400

Where has the morning gone? Oi…

Despite the amount of salad I’m eating lately, I really need to get back in the habit of planning out meals and packing lunches. >.